I attended the Mesh Conference this past week (and also MeshU). Good times had by all, especially the proverbial bump and grind with the microcelebrities of the inter-tech world (Daniel Burka, Nora Young, Leah Culver, Ethan Kaplan, David Usher, John Resig, Ryan Carson, Avi Bryant, Lane Merrifield, Garret Camp, Eric Schonfeld, and more!!!)
One of the main themes I felt that all the participants addressed in one form or another was the Social Web. Or social media. Or social. Or welcome to the social. It's an obvious concept and it seems that most of the conversations, both public and private, focused on this.
I can't Dance
I might be behind the curve or dancing in the wrong club, but for the most part, especially with regard to the enterprise conversations that focused on monetizing the social space, the true concept of Social was misunderstood and even ignored. When the enterprise looks at taking advantage of the "new social space" or the red-bull entrepreneur seeks out the next big thing, it undermines the truth behind "the social". And it's no wonder so many start-ups fail and enterprise social experiments suck.
"Social" is meant to represent the dynamic, relational opportunities that exist on the internet, but without really understanding the dynamics of human nature, especially with regards to true human relationships that exist in the touch and feel realm of the real world, we're just throwing darts in the dark hoping to pop a few balloons at the circus.
Dance Dance Revolution
Imagine a crowded dance floor, or a busy trade show, or a traffic jam after a concert or hockey game. People act and react to each other in very predictable ways. Information flows in very predictable ways. Friendships start and end in very predictable ways. For all our individuality and unpredictable uniqueness, as a whole, we are very predictable.
So when the entrepreneur asks "How do I create a successful Social web application", or big business tries to figure out how they can take advantage of the new social nature of the internet, they're approaching the problem from the wrong direction. They're watching the actions of the crowd and trying to reverse engineer a problem they can solve (and then build a gigantic audience and sell a billion widgets or get bought out by google for a billion dollars). This creates a sense of complexity where complexity doesn't really exist. The real problem lies in understanding the needs of the individual and the innate desire for relationship combined with understanding who you are and what kind of relationship you can offer.
Guy meets girl, guy chases girl, girl complains to Twitter to enforce ToS
It's the classic example of the guy trying too hard to get the girl (or the girl trying to hard to get the guy - which was never my experience). You may end up, if you're lucky, getting the person you're chasing after (although that's usually just the hollywood ending). But if your chase is predicated upon a false identity or "I'll be who you want so you'll want who I am", you'll end up in a relationship you don't want and a person you don't fit with. You'll hate it, they'll hate it and your children will cry in the night. The same if you're in business.
Relationships are Relationships that involve Relations
Don't forget that relationships, whether digital or tactile, are actually relationships. You might have a checkbox for terms of service, but you're actually entering into a personal and private space of the the individual, even if you're Yamaha just trying to build a community of all terrain enthusiasts -- relationships are risky and volitile and personal and private. "The Social" is more than the numbers and the analytics. Forget this and you lose.
Like the man said, remember who you are
You need to know who you are.
You need to know what kind of relationship you can successfully foster and maintain. (If you only know how to initiate the relationship and haven't considered how you are going to maintain and foster it, you've lost before you've begun.)
You need to believe in your message (and your message must be an authentic representation of who you are).
You need to focus on serving the individual, each individual, and trust that the group will experience this focus and grow.
You need to treat "the Social" like you treat your friends or employees. It's a relationship, not a project or program. Trust is gained slowly and lost in a flash.
You need to solve a problem (or meet a need), not just create a new space for interaction, especially if you're a business trying to succeed in growing an audience.
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